the necessary and uncomfortable beginning...

it's a journey, really. for half-thought thinkers like us. we do not have very wise things to say, and the half-thoughts remain thus only because the level of interest is hard to sustain. that or something better comes up (usually on tv). so to disclose some of these half-thoughts in such a forum, would be the furthest such thoughts have ever travelled. and perhaps, the only glaring result of such an experiment would be only to ratify their status.. as half-thoughts.

it's hard to bare the mind and soul, without getting into specifics. but what are the relevant specifics anyway? what matters is in the moment. in this moment, it matters to me that i'm feeling too lazy to change the cd that's playing. one of my favourite pastimes (ie, when i am not feeling completely sloth-like) is to update my ipod. and that could be to go scrounging for new music(ie, music that i don't already have), or rummage through existing cd collection to dig up that one cd that i'd assumed my brother had whacked off me.

it's fleetwood mac tonight.

****snip-snip-ed on 15th Aug****

fleetwood mac, anyhow, doesn't get associated with any special memories/thoughts/half-thoughts. they've never been an ever-green favourite with me. but these words..

if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
the landslide will bring it down

.. these would rate high among the most haunting words ever written. it's practically eerie. and the voice and the music just make it eerie-er!

closer home of course, is...

i've been afraid of changing
cause i've built my life around you

... it's unfortunate when words like these make sense. the potential danger of settling. because uprooting what one is settled into, invites a world of change within oneself. it's almost the fear of this potential danger that gives me the courage to procrastinate the impending decisions of life. right now might be completely miserable, but atleast i have a hold on things. but if i rock the boat a little with the sliver of a hope that things will get better, things might just get worse. so why rock it? just live another moment, another hour, another day...